TVXQ Still

Seriously, the first time I head Still, I was so taken back by how ill and tired Changmin looked that I didn’t look at the meaning of the song or really hear the words that they were singing. The entire song, I was listening for the other three voices that needed to be there. The second time I heard the song while not looking at them performing it, I realized why it felt so special. I guess it goes to say that any time TVXQ does something, my heart is immediately drawn to them. I didn’t look up (much) information about the boys for a good month and having finally broken down and looked, I realize just how much I miss them. Oh god. I miss them so badly. Their dorkiness and antics are just too precious. *sigh* It’s what makes the split so much more difficult even years later. There’s so much rich history between the boys that I just can’t. I tell myself, “okay, enough, step back, it’ll be okay.” and then they pull these beautiful ballads that make my heart melt and brain go to mush. I just love them so fricken much. I miss them. Why do they have to be apart? TVXQ feels like its crumbling. Maybe being away is leaving me jaded but their outward appearance just does not look that healthy. They have always been overworked so I don’t see why it would take such a large toll now. The two just look exhausted. The three look bored. Their solo activities keep them busy but when they’re in the in between…they look absolutely bored. I don’t think any of them really wanted this kind of breakdown. At least not before they went to the army and had to leave their stardom behind. Yes, JYJ is still strong, still loved, and I <3<3<3 Junsu more than I should, probably, but at the same time, they all still look a little broken and it’s been over two years. I love you, you silly men. Please remember that there are people who don’t take your existences for granted and want your happiness and wellbeing (and good music). *big mental hug to all the boys* I hope you all find closure in this one day… or maybe I am just seeing something that isn’t there and you’ve all moved on. Or like I hope, are secretly boinking/drinking/anything in the background where we can’t see. At least Junsu got Eunhyuk back publically and all his bro’s at FC Men. Maybe through that connection, they all keep tabs on each other. Maybe that’s why SM sends TVXQ to Japan whenever JYJ is in Korea and visa versa. My heart is heavy for them.

Oh My

It seems I have been gone forever and that is so the case. I left the country to go to Israel for two weeks and before that I had school and work and other responsibilities and no offense to JYJ and TVXQ, they’re kind of off the radar for the most part right now. Which is fine. I hope that means they are working on material. Except TVXQ, who are doing their Japan tour. Which is great for them. And Junsu is starting his musical, which is wonderful. I can’t wait to see more stills of him in his costume. Yum. Except that recent picture of him with Junho. I prefer him chubby… He doesn’t seem the same happy go lucky kind of guy when he is really slim. I hope it’s either just for the span of the musical or the angle made it seem that way. The boy is built solidly and should not be stick thin like his two companions. Jaejoong looks way too skinny and Yoochun carries it better but he’s still FAR too skinny. *sigh* If there weren’t pictures of the three of them eating, I would be very scared for their health and eating habits.

As is, I don’t think they see each other as often as they used to, obviously, but at the same time, I think they still keep in touch. Now that they’re all living in the same complex, maybe they do see each other more often. Having a elevator separate the three makes it easier to just pop in for a visit without fangirls going bonkers. Hmm, yaoi thoughts going through head… I’ll stop XD I don’t even ship them together but I do get a kick out of reading (and writing) fanfiction about it.

The real reason for the post is the new group B.A.P. Their name is retarded as is with most names nowadays. Warrior, their debut song, however, is very good. I like the music video. Plain dance sequence with them showing off the members individually, their abilities, unique camera angles, and just overall poweress. At first, I was put off by the “tough guy” image that they shoved at the viewer but then I saw a few softer members and that made it so much better. I think I will like this group. Much as I really liked Dalmation. Let’s hope they don’t disappear like those boys did. Oh, the reason I like them? They can all sing. And relatively well at that. Of course the high note won me over <<; >>; but the rest of the members are good, too. First boy (yeah, have yet to learn their names) with the deep voice is a bit grating but once he sings and does not rap, for me, it gets better.

And to throw it out there, I bought my ticket for the Korean Music Festival. Can’t wait to see the line up later. Good times. And I want Beast to release their tickets!!! I fricken want to go to the LA one if I can. Grrr. Get your venues straight already. LA is waiting and while many people in America bitch at there only being LA, SF, and NY for dates… I went to the Kpop Masters Concert and LV has NO fans. Okay, I met one but most of the people were imports. So I can see why they didn’t chose other cities. As is, I don’t know personally where the majority of fans are but I DO know that LA has a huge fanbase for kpop. HUGE. So please, don’t start saying that the majority of fans are not in the cities that they chose. They also chose cities which have large airports and public transit making it easier to get to their artists one way or another if the person wants to shell out some big bucks to see their idols live. I already saw B2st in Vegas but I reeaaally want to see them do a solo show and have them interact with the audience…and I want to see Kikwang in person, damn it. Boy was busy shooting his drama at the time and while I LOVE his adorable acting, I want to see him in person. There’s a lot of Beauty’s in America… it still depresses me how Cassies have died down in the past year or two (for obvious reasons) but they are almost as strong as B2ty’s. Anyways, Cassie rant over. B2ty rant over. Have a nice day.

Happy Birthday Xiah/Kim Junsu

Let me start off by saying that I adore you. And then move on to the message at hang, happy birthday. I’m going to butcher it but sengechuku hanmida, my dear. You’re a wonderful human being. For every flaw, there is that much more happiness and goodness. You are so versatile. Not many people can pull off having a devil and angel image… all at the same time. You’re standing on your own two feet and you’re doing splendidly at it. I have given rant after rant just how wonderful I find you as a person and how much I love your voice. You are a great singer and anyone who calls you overrated just hasn’t listened to the correct songs. It’s got a magical quality that is rare to find. It is a voice that when you speak does not always sound best but when you sing, oh my goodness. I just die when I hear you sing. You’re awkward but you think such heavy thoughts. My dear one, I hope you continue to know how much so many, many people love you and respect you. I hope you are never without a friend (even though I know you have Juno there but things happen). I hope you are never so depressed that you don’t want to carry on. I hope you don’t regret too badly choices that you have made in your life. Your fans, your dedicated Xiahpaws are here. As an international fan, there is limited things that I can accomplish but the love I send to you every day HAS to account for something. If positive energy is released into the world, then the world is that much more positive and I think that you would appreciate that more than most. Knowing that you are first to rise, first to get ready, and first to be finished makes me happy. A hard worker like you deserves all the recognition that he gets and more. It’s like Bruno Mars’s song, “when you smile, the world stops and stares for a while” and that is how it is for me. Whenever I feel down, I just look up a picture of you smiling amidst my horde of pictures and there are so many of those and they all make me so ridiculously happy. I doubt you ever thought that you would be able to brighten someone’s day just by existing.

And of course, “Fallen Leaves” come on as I am writing this. That song. I have no words as to how it touches me every single time that I listen to it. Through it, I know that you feel melancholy. That you feel down but you are also able to look past it and look for better days. Those types of emotions are easy to think about but difficult to follow. I understand you when you say that you’d rather be busy and not think too much but that your walks can last so many hours because you get lost in thought. I have felt the same way in Fall that Fallen Leaves really does leave an impression on me, so greatly. I just love the song so much. Life is ever changing and we must change with it.

I hope this year brings you further success. You look AMAZING as death for Elizabeth and I can’t WAIT to see more pictures of you in your outfit. To me, no hip thrusting in the world can be as amazing as a well put together outfit. Yum. Not even your hip thrusting. Then again, I’ve already said that I don’t want you physically but as a musician. I’ve always had a soft spot for musicians but not I am not delusional. Anyways, I hope you stay in good health and get proper nutrition. *smirks* When you got chubby, that actually made me happy for a bit because that meant that you were enjoying American food with no limit. *snorts* You do look better slimmer but your “chubby” times are refreshing and adorable. *shakes head* Oh, the things fangirls think about. To continue, I hope you make new friends and that old ones continue to treat you well. I REALLY hope you write new music and release something so that I can fangirl all over again. I felt privileged, as many fans did, that I got to hear In Heaven, Boy’s Letter, and You’re before they were released. Oh, and Get Out XD I always forget about that one. Please continue to appreciate the world around you and work as hard as you do.  I hope you get the things in life which you want and not lose sight of the things that are truly important. Your ability to sing with emotion even when it’s karaoke is amazing. Please keep some of your innocence. Don’t let the world make you (any more) cynical than you are/have to be. Most of all, though, I hope you are happy. In whatever pursuits you follow, let them be successful and fruitful. Time will bring change and new experiences to learn from. Don’t forget the past but don’t let it drag you down. Overall, my dear heart, know that there is at least one fan who loves you for the things that you create and who wishes for your well-being and happiness.

Some thoughts on YJC

Some days I think that TVXQ will come out as five and be like “Hey guys, the whole split up? We were kidding. Trololololo,” as they hug each other and pat each other’s backs… All the overlaps, the shared clothing, and random identical location fanmeetings and just everything. Then I look at the lack of promotion for JYJ and I know it can’t be. They’re doing fine but not as great as they could/would be as five. This is just one of those days where I get depressed because I miss them.

 

I swear that Changmin knows Yunho’s sexual preference and teases him about it… Y:“my favorite is when a woman smiles while fixing her hair” C: “What about me?” Y:“I don’t Swing that way” C:“*chuckles meniachely*” These things tend to happen often enough that it’s kind of like “o_O”. I’m actually think that the reason Changmin is so comfortable with talking about the gay thing is because someone in DBSK was/is and so he was exposed to it. Honestly don’t care who it is even though everyone has their suspicions as long as they are happy.

 

I realized today that I don’t actually care if Jaejoong got plastic surgery. Totally random but I was thinking about it and with most people, if it’s not dramatic, then I don’t care. For him, whatever it is that he got or didn’t, he looks damn good. If he would stop exercising for a while and eat like a pig and gain like 3-4kg’s at least, I’d be happy. 60kg in a man of his height is too skinny. Far too skinny, boyo. You’re 5’9. You should have at least 10 more pounds on you. <_<  >_> But whatever you had done, you are a fine male and don’t have any worries about your face. Keep looking up them pictures of yourself if that makes you feel better…you narcissist. We love you for it, in a way, those of us who are your fans. It’s nice that you’re a camera whore because that gives us more fodder for pictures/gifs/everything. I hate people who bash on you for that. If their oppa was always on screen, they wouldn’t call them a camera whore. Fans and people in general are just such hypocrites. Anyways, Jaejoong, congrats on your fanmeet and stay pretty.

Fanmeets and Random Happenings

Jaejoong’s fanmeeting was interesting. The fancams show enough for me to see that he was having a damn good time. I think the vacation with the three of them was a good thing. We’ll probably see footage of it later (knowing them). Anyways, I think it’s healthy that they’re doing things like this. Asian really does appreciate them so much. Then again, I think JYJ had a much more successful concert than fricken Kpop Masters did. I had a BLAST at both concerts… and with the large lineup at the Masters concerts, it should have been a blast, but it just didn’t sell as it should. While I had a grand old time and got to see Changmin and Yunho so CLOSE<3<3<3, it just feels that they’re not as appreciated in America as they should be. Personally, I think that if they had come to LA, a whole ton more people would have shown up. Las Vegas at Thanksgiving is just not the best place to do it. The local population of kpop fans is just not large enough even though I did meet a very nice local who allowed me to fangirl and we chatted before parting ways. It was nice to know someone at a concert. Whenever I sit next to Asian people, they’re usually there in groups and they don’t want to talk to a random white girl. It sucks.

 

Okay, back to Jaejoong. That man is fine. His hair color right now throws me off. It’s not bad but it’s not good, either. Whatever. If he can smile like that and I feel that it actually reached his eyes, and be as adorable as he was. His interactions with the interpreter were just so innocent and his conversation with the MC was funny to watch. All in all, he seemed to enjoy having fans appreciate him and it’s probably the confidence boost he needs, right now. Go use that energy to write more music.

 

And please tell me you stalked Yunho and Changmin XD I mean, seriously. You all know Fahrenheit and the two met Calvin so go, use him as an intermediate and get together. *grumbles* Umma and Appa and Child (I don’t remember the word for child) need to meet Okay, enough silly Yunjae stuff. I know it’s getting old. Just meet already!

 

Gotta love that one post on kpopsecrets about HoMin. I think the breakdown was “Yunho= gay, Jaejoong =bi, Junsu = asexual, Changmin =straight, and Yoochun = whatever?” The Yoochun part cracked me up. Seriously, he’s either a player or a virgin. Just saying. I agree with the breakdown, mostly. Junsu is not asexual. He’s just doesn’t see people as sexual objects, I don’t think. If anything, he’s pansexual…like me. *hides in corner* I love that he and I are so similar in the oddest ways. Plus, he’s probably more mature now and can finally let loose, so who knows what he does/is doing now.

 

Okay, odd thought. Those boys lived together for so long. My oh my, young males of their age tend to jack off a lot. *mind went into very naughty places* Just brings back images of Changmin going “I don’t like men” with giant eyes on camera when Jaejoong said he loved him. *snickers* Ah, the good old days. Just something to think about.

 

Now, on to Yunho and Changmin’s fanmeets. They looked happy, too. Honestly, they looked pretty spunky in Las Vegas, too. I mean, it’s been so long that of course they’ve moved on. Pshh, I would be more surprised if they hadn’t. The thing is, I think they looked generally content. The schedule they have now is so ingrained for them after all the years, that nothing much has changed except that they have only each other to share their worries/frustrations with. They really did look pretty close as they chatted together through the interview and things like that. It makes me happy to see that they are close. It just makes me feel that the bond between the five of them really was as strong as it felt when they were still together. The other groups don’t feel as tight nit as DBSK did. Anyways, I think Changmin has grown LOADS (and is so hot now, wow…he was hot before but he OWNS it now (not being overshined by other members *couch Jaejoong cough*)). Yunho is…growing but at a slower pace. His personality has always been the friendliest and the most likeable, to me. Leasder-shi, you’re adorable…even if I don’t like you physically. That has been changing, recently. Personality does a lot for me when I see a person. I can dislike their looks but if they are wonderful as a person, I find them attractive. Certain angles make Yunho look wonderful, too. He looks so awesome when he’s all preppy.

 

Junsu and Yoochun. Yeah. Junsu is doing birthday stuff, it seems. Playing soccer, going home, etc. Good for him… both of you, write music. I want an album or a single next year, damn it. Give us world tour part 2. Don’t give up. Don’t stop working. We LOVE you, I promise. If only the networks would see that. *sigh* I’m starting to get why the other fans are having such a hard time with you not showing up on shows. I would love to see you be dorky and quirky and steal the show on public television. *sigh* I just miss you and CF deals don’t do it for me. Yoochun, I never figured you were that popular to score so many of them. Junsu, you’re a walking advertisement for soccer, and I love you. Also, the pic of the three of you with matching shoes was ADORABLE beyond words. I just about died with squealing at the three of you. Yoochun did look floored *snorts*. Go to game practices and get that stamina up. I know, I know, asthma, but damn. Jaejoong just looks like model. He and Changmin have that going for them.

Girl Bands and Dramas of this Year

So this lull in activities happens every year. Last year, I was listening to kpop but I wasn’t following it like I am now. Wow, it feels so odd that so many good songs were played for a few weeks, received limited attention because they all occurred at the same time, and then things just stalled. Yes, IU released a new album (should have waited so that it counted towards 2012 but whatever). I love her and her music is so…Disney. It’s wonderful. Other than that, everyone else is new or just not interesting. I find that most of the girl groups sound very similar.  Not that it’s a bad thing because I like the songs but they’re all very similar. The songs from girl bands that are uber popular… I don’t like. I don’t like 2NE1 at ALL. Like 0 like. I have yet to hear a song of theirs that I actually like. I love Davichi, Brown Eyed Girl’s latest album, and some SNSD. Wonder Girls are not bad but they sound like many other bands…except they do sing better It kind of always amuses me that girl groups are dominating so much on charts. I would think that the boy groups would have strong followings but  I guess with the girl groups, it’s girls AND boys buying them in bulk unlike boy bands where it is mostly females buying albums.

 

Also, I REALLY am disappointed in many fans. Right now, there are popularity polls going on for both music and dramas. EVERYONE is voting best drama: one, a drama that is not finished yet and two, a drama that is NOT nearly on par with the ones that aired earlier and yet because it’s current, it’s more popular. This year was epic. My top six were: City Hunter, Dream High, Flower Boy Ramyun Shop(the one that isn’t finished yet so we’ll see if it ends well or not), apparently Secret Garden?, Greatest Love (LOVE the sisters for their works), Protect the Boss, and 49 Days. Warrior Baek Dong Su gets an honorary message because it wasn’t anything new like the others on the list but it was beautiful and the main boys really grew on me and oh my are they adorable. I am now following their careers and plan to watch whatever they are in if it is even remotely interesting. Okay, that list titles 7 but I thought Secret Garden was 2010 but some people put it in with 2011. Yeah, these are my TOP dramas… I watched a TON of shows this year.  Over 13 shows. It’s no wonder I have been even more attached to my computer than I used to be. Add to that anime, jdramas, and american television and damn. I spend a lot of time in front of a screen. But I digress.

 

With my bias group not nominated for anything this season, apparently, I am not even going to bother with any of the award ceremonies. I’m still voting for certain ones but even still, it’s just not with any emotion after the disappointed that is MAMA. KYHD was released early this year so most people have forgotten how AWESOME it really is. *sigh * Sometimes I wonder where the Cassies have all gone.

Dance Moves and Fan Wars

I hate to admit this but sometimes a dance move with catch my interest in a song even though I dislike the song itself and I will keep watching the various performances of the songs just to see that dance move. Or I’ll just watch certain portions of their performances for songs I do like just to see them perform that move. Cry Cry from T-ara is like that for me. The song itself is…good? But their vocals are not the best. Maybe it’s the music not being that great but overall, the song is okay but their “can’t you see the look in my eyes” part really gets me and I really like the move they thought up. Same goes for Be My Baby from Wonder Girls. Their belly rub thing is so cute so I like it. I really am enjoying both songs and I am glad that they are promoting them at the same time. I get two eye candies at the same time. This it the first time that I am actually listening to girl bands…then again, where are the boy bands right now? NO idol boy band is promoting. Except B1A4 which I do not like. Meh. Their debut song was catchy “I love yououoouououououo” and the dance move did attract me (go figure) but I don’t find them all that talented. Everyone else is a solo. Okay, I just checked before posting. MYNAME is promoting so I was excited. They also caught my attention with their dance moves. That one boy who does the Junsu/Eunhyuk handstand and well, their song is a bit unfinished, but their voices are nice and they have good choreography. I like them quite a bit. They’re the only rookies besides Dalmation that have actually caught my ears attention this year, I think. Their debut song is on my playlist which is ever changing so that’s a great feat. Their outfits are awesome. That one boy who hits that high note. Oh my. THIS is what U-kiss’s debut should have sounded like. Not whatever it is they were doing before the member change. I LOVED Man Man Ha Ni but I only heard it with the new members. Yeah, I saw UKiss last year so I became a fan. Am I a Kissme? No, but I know more about them than most other bands. Besides TVXQ/JYJ/DB5K, the only other groups whose names I know of each member is Beast (really what got me into following kpop not just TVXQ but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a Beauty) and Big Bang (nor a VIP). Everyone else? I know a few members. As for girl groups? All the girls pretty much look the same to me…except for Miss A. I can tell the individual girls apart and I adore Suzy. I know half of 2pm. Can’t stand most of the 2am members. I like Infinite but I have no idea who anyone is… and don’t like MBLAQ. Sorry. I can’t remember other groups off the top of my head. I am okay with SNSD and see why they are popular. I’m just not a fan of girl groups. I like F(x) but don’t know anyone in there but Amber?

 

Speaking of solo’s… I love/adore IU. That girl is making herself like Korea’s Taylor Swift and it’s GREAT. Her new album shows her talents well. From ballads to dance to just showcasing her unique and nice voice. I like her and I hope she doesn’t get ruined by the industry. I understand that she’s young so I hope she does well in the future. Plus, her as Pil-Suk in Dream High was awesome. YOU GO GIRL for playing a fat girl gone skinny gone fat and doing it with style. Sure she was a great actress but I ADORED the character and that requires at least some level of acting ability. Wooyoung being her Jason helped. They made such a cute couple… He tried so hard to get to know her better but it failed. Girl is SHY. You, my friend, are the furthest from shy. You and Yoochun could probably compare stories

 

Okay, on to some serious stuff… man, this whole being a Cassie business is really painful. The fandom is really torn to shreds. You’ve got so many divisions and so many different opinions. That would be fine if they didn’t each try to destroy the other with comments. The fan wars are so painful to read. Yet I do read them. Each site is biased in one direction or the other. And certain sites try to keep it civil but someone always destroys the atmosphere. Makes me want to start my own site just so I can share my opinion without a thousand people saying “delusional”, “denial”, or other things of that nature. I remember leaving a comment on a JYJ site about Homin and people went off on me for trying to start a war. I was just commenting on my missing them in general and this was around the time of Jaejoong’s tweet about missing them. Yeah, the fans are going bonkers. I’m also getting annoyed with people who say that JYJ sucks. They are no longer relevant. People don’t want to see them. The only one who is still relevant at all is Jaejoong. I’m like, “what?” Yoochun has a decent following. Junsu is beloved because he’s doing musicals. I know that it’s not only Cassies who are going to his performances. Jaejoong is a sex beast internationally so yeah, he’s going to get more press because he’s so popular by beauty. Otherwise, they are doing their best to stay relevant. It’s sad not to see them on TV without it being a drama but at least that’s available to them. I hope that they keep getting casting calls. Yoochun… was better in SKKS than in Ripley but he’s not terrible Jaejoong grew LEAPS AND BOUNDS in Protect the Boss. I talked to another Cassie/Beauty at the Kpop masters concert and she and I agreed. The first three episodes were like “ah, honey, you’re adorable but you’re not acting” and then I started to forget who he was and just saw the character. GOOD job my dear. Anyways, it’s selfish, but I want them to stay relevant even with no tv time. Also, as for Yunho and Changmin, I AM SO GLAD that they did end up making it. That they are still relevant and that people still love them. I think they are trying really hard to keep Japan interested in them. I know the Japanese ADORE Jaejoong so I think they’ll be okay in Japan. Shit, I just want those stans who say that JYJ is irrelevant to shut up. If they prefer Homin, why comment on a JYJ post? Gyah, people need to just butt out. Also, the Homin stans that declare that Cassiopeia is only for HoMin now. Okay, perhaps it should be but it’s not. Cassie’s are DB5K fans and now they are, yes, TVXQ fans and while I would still be a Cassie because I do love all five, it would be difficult to call myself something else to support JYJ. I guess I don’t want the split to be final even though I know it probably is. I will always hope for a reunion if only for them to reconcile (if they need it) but the way things are right now is okay, too. All five have lost the same spark they used to have but as long as they are still singing, I am happy. I just really wish that the fan wars would stop… it’s been two years and yet the wound still feels raw. Maybe it is JYJ’s fault for not creating a new fanclub but even still, it’s tough to be a Cassie, sometimes.